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Religious gifts The marital problem of 90 ％ goes to go up in detail Professor of modest of tree of Liu of regimental regimental commander of instructor of education of Guangdong province family is being accepted when interviewing, express, the divorce that contacts at ordinary times in him seeks advice in, the marriage of more than 90% is cause failure because of detail, also admit even party to these are “ bagatelle ” , can be these bagatelle caused marital rupture. ” of bagatelle of before bringing about marital cracked a few “ includes: To educational issue of the child, with familial and other member get along problem, external human truck issue, problem of individual habits and customs, to attitude issue …… of money What is “ marriage, we deliberately plan to safeguard it, it seems that what can this prove, what also can obtain some kind of heart to go up from which it seems that is quiet the backing that goes up with behavior, however under this paper bond, have the undercurrent that more or less loses sight of and eddy again. Say so in the letter that a woman that encounters difficult problem in marriage is writing ” to some affection column. And those who cause undercurrent of great majority marriage and eddy, be those petty details. E.g. , divorce to the men and women, because,be only male unaccustomed do chore, feminine habit is on the bed snack; Still have husband and wife of a pair of divorces, because think femaly,be male only should help her buy underwear, think maly female should be his shoeshine; Return some reason more “ hyperbole ” , when because fry tomato,just frying an egg, insist femaly to put salt, insist maly to put sugar, the result does this dish to quarrel greatly with respect to inevitable meeting every time one. Those who make love often is detail, but of finish marriage often also be detail. 　　 ☞ expert viewpoint: The understanding before marriage is crucial not quite 　　 Female of a divorce accuses ” to the “ of detail There are two identical leaves on the world, this truth everybody understands. But people does not understand, is, how can detail ruin marriage the edifice of this indestructible? Friend of a divorce female answered this question. She says: “ life is constituted by detail, earthshaking important matter also does not encounter a few all one's life, influence everyday the bagatelle that of the mood is those trifles. ” whether how do talking about these bagatelle cause power? Citing of this female friend says: “ I think to housekeeper should be asked in the home, he says to ask housekeeper insecure; I say warm color of should much dot is moved in the home, he says so sissy; My storytelling looks to want replace bookshelf, he was used to a book to be put everywhere however; I say to have a meal should wear bit trimlier, he says my make an unnecessary move; I say every half month wants to see the movie, he says to see dish go in the home; I say to should finish housework rests again, he says the following day housework of redo of early in the morning also it doesn't matter; I say the child wants him to take, it is good that he says to send return to one's native place to fall to be taken by the old person; I say to should not say wide mouth before the child, he thinks however this it doesn't matter; I say the child should go out at many o'clock to increase knowledge< , he says however outside the bacterium had better stay in anyhow of the …… in the home more, we should produce conflict everyday, it is to be driven beyond forbearance sometimes the ground quarrels greatly one, as time passes, we two was tired of. ” This female friend tells a reporter, before divorcing formally, this ever had tried to try a divorce to husband and wife, each other are apart, begin cranky to miss opposite party again next, pester together again next, but the thorn that is gotten on very quickly by body of the other side is plunged into ache, part again next, such go round and round for many times, final ability is resolved divorce. She says: Although “ wants those who experience the divorce of door leaf of painful thorough heart is painful, although a person wants to look after children after the divorce, but I still aux would rather,live present life. There was a space after ” divorces, see only instead now (perhaps say to be experienced) on body of the other side good, this to two people, is why meddlesome? 　　 ☞ expert viewpoint: The understanding before marriage is crucial not quite 　　 Marriage most be afraid of ” of the line on “ raise to the higher plane of principle Why can detail destroy marriage? An affection expert points out, because party makes the mistake of ” of the line on “ raise to the higher plane of principle easily,this is, in the final analysis is “ loves many somes of whose ” and “ this home is the problem that who said to calculate ” after all, making food so is the “ bagatelle ” that put bit of salt more or putting bit of salt less is not taste difference, however the principle big question that who should indulge, a lot of people can appear in the heart when encountering such “ bagatelle ” such thought: “ he / she still does not love me, otherwise he / she can let me for certain. ” Make these husband and wife feel painful is especially: Why when we talk about love so happy, is after marrying, discovering however completely so return a responsibility? Say like place of male of a divorce: Before “ marriage, the girlfriend sees you dress up beautifully every time, you feel to have outer part very much, after marrying, what you discover wife is beautiful be to need money and time to safeguard; Before marrying, the girlfriend always is affectedly sweet affectedly sweet ground very depend on you, you feel to have the man's feeling very much, after marrying, you discover whats do not know wife, at every turn needs you to do; Before marrying, the girlfriend is missing you every day, short message of a hour of clockwork spring gives every other you, you feel of the sweet taste in the heart, after marrying, you discover wife pays close attention to your tendercy all the time, let you feel to do not have freedom, irritated deeply irritated ……” but the worry that the female also has them: Before “ marriage, the boy friend is very handsome, take very contented oneself vanity, after marrying, those who discover husband is handsome resembling is gravitation, brought a lot of a lot beautiful butterfly come over; Before marrying, boy friend at every turn listens you, appear special have man tolerance, after marrying, discover creed of husband old man is serious, what housework also does not work; Before marrying, the boy friend is particularly easy to you, what do you want to give, after marrying, you discover husband experts to you not only, to him all a gang of scoundries are very easy, each minutes of Qiandouke of your home can become a friend; Before marrying, you feel the boy friend is really romantic, the life has interest really, after marrying, you discover husband is opposite not only you are romantic, still think romantic to all belles ……” In addition, more deep-seated society reason is, egghead people day-to-day to the requirement of marital quality rise, clear marriage is not to protect one paper affiance to succeed namely, the harmony that should be the life inside marriage more is perfect, but this kind just the “ requirement ” of come to did not receive very good guiding and standard, do not know what measure is appropriate, so “ of easy requirement crosses head ” , the result is brought about with divorce wind up. 　　 ☞ expert viewpoint: The understanding before marriage is crucial not quite 　　 Expert viewpoint: The understanding before marriage is crucial not quite Professor Liu Shuqian expresses, detail can finish marriage, because the understanding before bilateral marriage is insufficient,still basically be, marital instability, open plus social atmosphere, the temptation that everybody faces is great also, the circumstance that after marrying so, divorces because of “ bagatelle ” is much also. Liu Shuqian points out, at present marital affection education of China still is lacked quite, a lot of people acquire an university to had not gotten relevant education as a child, to the education of love, marriage, love and sex, the undergraduate is contacted too less, should not say an experience more, so marriage often contains blindness and actuation sex, although a few films, magazine also is delivering the content of these respects, but it is fragmentary, of the case, the theory that does not have a system is integrated, also lack direct sense so, and western country has special courses and teacher however, talk about marriage with the student, talk about a family. Liu Shuqian says, when encountering detail test marriage, be like ” of regulations of marriage of below 3 “ to want to abide by: The first, do not try to change opposite party. Adult is very difficult change; Say on certain level, you want to change the other side to be equal to do not love the other side. The 2nd, help promotion of the other side. Promotion is not equal at the change, promotion is to create a condition to let the other side become initiatively better. The premise that helps promotion of the other side is: So because I love him,doing is, is not for myself go to the lavatory or be myself fear. The 3rd, want to manage marriage attentively. From the detail respect of the life, include a gender, should manage well. wholesale christian gifts and baptism gift